A Cup of Ash

A Cup of Ash

Cigarette butts lay like fallen soldiers on the ashes of their brethren. The rose painted porcelain held them all in its cold embrace. A fancy thing that should be in a Lady’s parlour surrounded by other pieces just like it as tea and cakes are served. Instead it sits upon a Writer’s desk collecting the detritus of the author’s struggle to find the words to express the story they want to say. Each time the Writer fails to find the perfect phrase another soldier falls into the porcelain grave.

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Personal Failures

It’s interesting to know how others gauge success. For me, success is an elusive idea that I could never achieve no matter how hard I tried. Success occurs when you have achieved a perfect understanding of every aspect of your job, classes, friends, and of your self. Which is something that doesn’t actually happen. I have discovered through others that success could be much simpler than that. Coming back from any kind of failure and working as if that failure never happened is a success.  Achieving a high score at the end of a school term is considered a success. I guess I gauge my own successes and failures on too harsh of a scale. I have currently achieved a  90% score in my college classes. Everyone is praising me and saying how I have done such a good job. Their praise leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth. I didn’t achieve that score by working hard. I just merely did the work assigned. Though, I admit, if I tried I probably wouldn’t have scored much higher. While I have always achieved high grades in school I have never gotten a perfect score. Which is my personal failure. I guess you could say I have become complacent, and will always just do the work just so that I don’t have to face the failure of not being perfect.