Maybe I’ve had enough withbeing on a truck. Maybe I just want to go home and get a job like everyone else. Sure it won’t be glamorus but at least I’ll have a home. Traveling has been fun but I am tired and I miss my animals. This transient life is not for me.
Sometimes you just get so tired of something that you just have to say Enough. I won’t deal with this anymore. I’ve reached that point today. I’ve spent the past week feeling useless Just because I didn’t want to be a burden on anybody. I can’t do it anymore. I won’t put myself down anymore just because my life isn’t where I wanted it to be. Its time I pick myself up and make my life what I want it to be.
There are things about my past that I just don’t talk about just because it’s too painful. It makes it really hard to move past it. My boyfriend has things in his past he doesn’t talk about either. I do know, by instinct I guess, that he has suffered a lot in his past. Or maybe it’s because we have a shared pain. Anyway, I digress, I talked to my boyfriend about my past thinking it’ll clear the guilt I’ve been feeling about keeping secrets. He seemed to already know which is a huge relief. I feel less broken if that makes any sense. It hurt to say anything at all but I felt like I had to. Like I couldn’t move forward with him unless I did. By telling him, even though I felt like my heart would shatter to pieces, I found out he already knew and it made it okay somehow. It still hurts but now the pain is just an echo. All I need to figure out now is what to do with the ones who caused the pain to begin with.