Feeling Full

For a little while there I was feeling empty inside. I couldn’t fill that hole no matter how much food I ate. I couldn’t even fill the space with music or tv shows. I left my room and went to hang out with friends. Now I’m starting to fill full inside.

Future Plans

I find myself on the verge of a change in my life. One that may allow me to follow my dreams. I can finally say out loud what it is that really want to do with my life. The problem is I am afraid that if I actually say it the chance would disappear.

No I am fully going to say it. I want to be a writer. I want to do nothing more than write. A change has come my way where my work is finally being published. I need to embrace this change and become the writer I really want to be.

2018

This year has really been a year of revelations for me. I have finally realized the victim spiral I had lived with my entire life. Because, this is the first time since 2010 that my entire family has lived under one roof. The last thing I did living with my family was give my daughters up for adoption. I’ve caught myself falling into the same routines as when we were in high school. Granted that was a time when we also tried to be a family but it wasn’t a healthy family. We’d blackmail each other with ruining the lie just to get what we wanted. There was a time when I fought out of this life. Where I left and experienced life on my own. I yearn for that again. I just have to remind myself that I fought back before. I can fight back again.